I Feel Your Pain Sean O'Hair
I digress from Atlantic City Golf for a moment and head over to the PGA Tour . . .
Dads are big in the PGA news these days. With the passing of father Harmon, Tiger's father passing and the perennial media favorite Sean O'Hair's father/son feud are mainstream fodder for the media. As a new father, the topic weighs heavy on my mind.
Hardest to overlook are the travails of Sean O'Hair and the family scandals that have been exploited in every way imaginable by the press. It is clear that Sean had a tough dad and not a very bright one at that. Let's be honest, fathers can be rough on children (especially boys) and they may not have always come from a background that fosters quality child rearing. This is too often the case of a generation that didn't have the abundance of information and resources available to parents today.
Let's ask one question that never a peep has been whispered: Was he there for his son? It sure sounds like Sean O'Hair's father was not only there; he was there a LOT and pushing his child at every turn. Sean could have easily grown up with no father at all or simply an absent dad. His dad could have sat Sean in front of a TV while balancing a beer can and a handful of nuts and say "shut-up boy!" as so many parents today do. Instead a middle class man cashed in his life savings and sent his son to play a rich man's sport. With over $2 million in career earnings, the results seem to indicate that Sean has become somewhat of an accomplished golfer from this upbringing.
Damn that father!
The primary and most legitimate gripe that is apparent to the Atlantic City Golfer on Sean O'Hair's behalf is his father's desire to ask for his money back. It is indeed a tough spot to be in for a father who has given up a great deal, if not all of his savings. You save your money for retirement over a lifetime, cash it in for your child and then ask for it back. Sorry, but this isn't how it works. Understandable, but wrong. The point of a parent is to provide every tool imaginable for your child to grow, flourish and better the conditions of the offspring. He did this. Generations to come will live a more affluent and providing existence because of the efforts of this banished father. For crying out loud, he raised a professional golfer; a life everyone reading this probably wishes they had.
Whether this is "better" or not is hard to say. Does money and fame buy happiness?
It now appears that Sean O'Hair has found solace and happiness with his father-in-law and abandoned his true father. There couldn't be any hidden agenda's there. Another father providing support to better the life of his daughter. What wouldn't this dad do or say to foster this winning lottery ticket his daughter purchased? OK, that sounds a bit cynical, but honest, quality advice, mentoring and direction could be the most difficult qualities to find anywhere, and the more prosperous the individual, the more difficult it becomes.
We hear often of professionals who excel and then drop from the limelight. How many songs have been written about when the times are good everyone loves you, and when everything goes in the trash the crowd evaporates into the wind? Those who stick around when things are at their lowest are the people who must be kept closest. To simply cast away a father who didn't meet your expectations after giving up everything he had, will come back to haunt Sean.
To be certain, child abuse (if it happened at all in this case is disputed) is NOT a practice the Atlantic City Golfer endorses in any way shape or form. But, parents were different in years past. From what it sounds like, my father had a heavier hand than Sean's dad, and for the record, I often deserved it (this does not mean Sean did). This behavior came from beliefs that fear and punishment were not only acceptable forms of influence and control, but that they were effective. The prevailing attitude today is quite the contrary, but it should not diminish the fact that parents didn't know this then.
America was built by strong, dominant men who wanted to pass on their strength to their children. To be a man today is to be strong and understanding of people's flaws and to look for the good and often greatness in people. Sean strikes me as still a child and his father-in-law is only advancing these childish perspectives.
Grow up Sean O'Hair and forgive you father. Voluntarily help him out financially because money is hard to come by when you aren't a famous professional golfer, and the older you get the harder it is to come by. Maybe, just maybe, some day he will forgive you for your faults.
Dads are big in the PGA news these days. With the passing of father Harmon, Tiger's father passing and the perennial media favorite Sean O'Hair's father/son feud are mainstream fodder for the media. As a new father, the topic weighs heavy on my mind.
Hardest to overlook are the travails of Sean O'Hair and the family scandals that have been exploited in every way imaginable by the press. It is clear that Sean had a tough dad and not a very bright one at that. Let's be honest, fathers can be rough on children (especially boys) and they may not have always come from a background that fosters quality child rearing. This is too often the case of a generation that didn't have the abundance of information and resources available to parents today.
Let's ask one question that never a peep has been whispered: Was he there for his son? It sure sounds like Sean O'Hair's father was not only there; he was there a LOT and pushing his child at every turn. Sean could have easily grown up with no father at all or simply an absent dad. His dad could have sat Sean in front of a TV while balancing a beer can and a handful of nuts and say "shut-up boy!" as so many parents today do. Instead a middle class man cashed in his life savings and sent his son to play a rich man's sport. With over $2 million in career earnings, the results seem to indicate that Sean has become somewhat of an accomplished golfer from this upbringing.
Damn that father!
The primary and most legitimate gripe that is apparent to the Atlantic City Golfer on Sean O'Hair's behalf is his father's desire to ask for his money back. It is indeed a tough spot to be in for a father who has given up a great deal, if not all of his savings. You save your money for retirement over a lifetime, cash it in for your child and then ask for it back. Sorry, but this isn't how it works. Understandable, but wrong. The point of a parent is to provide every tool imaginable for your child to grow, flourish and better the conditions of the offspring. He did this. Generations to come will live a more affluent and providing existence because of the efforts of this banished father. For crying out loud, he raised a professional golfer; a life everyone reading this probably wishes they had.
Whether this is "better" or not is hard to say. Does money and fame buy happiness?
It now appears that Sean O'Hair has found solace and happiness with his father-in-law and abandoned his true father. There couldn't be any hidden agenda's there. Another father providing support to better the life of his daughter. What wouldn't this dad do or say to foster this winning lottery ticket his daughter purchased? OK, that sounds a bit cynical, but honest, quality advice, mentoring and direction could be the most difficult qualities to find anywhere, and the more prosperous the individual, the more difficult it becomes.
We hear often of professionals who excel and then drop from the limelight. How many songs have been written about when the times are good everyone loves you, and when everything goes in the trash the crowd evaporates into the wind? Those who stick around when things are at their lowest are the people who must be kept closest. To simply cast away a father who didn't meet your expectations after giving up everything he had, will come back to haunt Sean.
To be certain, child abuse (if it happened at all in this case is disputed) is NOT a practice the Atlantic City Golfer endorses in any way shape or form. But, parents were different in years past. From what it sounds like, my father had a heavier hand than Sean's dad, and for the record, I often deserved it (this does not mean Sean did). This behavior came from beliefs that fear and punishment were not only acceptable forms of influence and control, but that they were effective. The prevailing attitude today is quite the contrary, but it should not diminish the fact that parents didn't know this then.
America was built by strong, dominant men who wanted to pass on their strength to their children. To be a man today is to be strong and understanding of people's flaws and to look for the good and often greatness in people. Sean strikes me as still a child and his father-in-law is only advancing these childish perspectives.
Grow up Sean O'Hair and forgive you father. Voluntarily help him out financially because money is hard to come by when you aren't a famous professional golfer, and the older you get the harder it is to come by. Maybe, just maybe, some day he will forgive you for your faults.
I Feel Your Pain Sean O'Hair
posted by JB at 10:41 AM 
